Sad as it is, Richie Benaud will die. We all will. And while his wife and family undoubtedly have plans for him apres life, they are almost certainly not the plans I have for him and not, quite frankly, the plans that the Australian public deserves. I hereby propose that Richie Benaud's final resting place should be the members end of the Sydney Cricket Ground with the wickets as his headstone. There will be ample space for his epitaph which, let's face it, need only read "Richie Benaud"; his, after all, is a story and indeed a legend that writes itself. It will ensure that the great man remains at the centre of Australian cricket for as long as Australian cricket itself continues to exists (yes, Melbourners will argue that the MCG is the centre of Australian cricket but Melbourners think the MCG is the centre of the known universe) and it will also ensure that, at one end at least, the wickets will not be sullied with pointless advertising which, frankly, annoys me (yes, I'm looking at you, CommBank, 3 Mobile, Jane McGrath day).
Richie deserves more than to lie in a hole in the Waverley Cemetery; Christ, he deserves more than to lay in state in Icebergs. To that end, I propose that Cricket Australia and the Australian cricket-loving public get behind the above idea. I'd sign off with "Marvellous" but that would be trite and this is no laughing matter.
I'd like to see Richie cremated, and put in an urn. From then on we can lock horns - (well, thumbs) - with England for some Ashes that actually mean something. And, if we thought that if being defeated by the sunburnt monkeys (the real red menace) from Blighty meant that we might actually lose Richie to them, we'll never get beaten again.
ReplyDeleteOf course, Richie may prefer to be given the chance to win gold in the 2030 Winter Olympics in the "Lateral Luge", before he's turned into a powder or a garden ornament. Oh, Death, where is thy sting?!
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