But it got me thinking. Has anyone else noticed that in Australia, to be called a Mining Magnate, you've basically got to be the size of Garden Island? Consider the following people: Nathan Tinkler, Andrew "Twiggy" Forrest, Gina "make mine a double" Rhinehart, and best of all, Clive "don't even bother to slice it" Palmer. Let's face it; none of these folks have spent a lot of time at the salad cart. I'll be fair to Twiggy, though; compared to the others, he resembles, well, Twiggy.
Australia is clearly in the grips of an ore-besity crisis. Perhaps it's the sheer scale of the mining industry that's done this. I mean, look at the size of a Haulpak Truck. Perhaps these magnates simply assumed that these vehicles were an unwritten invitation to spread out a bit, girth-wise. It's hard to know for sure. I just hope it's not an error born of scientific and linguistic confusion. It's well known that large objects (like planets and the like) exert a significant gravitational pull. Could it be, that these poor folk have stuffed themselves senseless in misguided quests to become recognised as mining magnets? The mind boggles.
All I know is that perhaps it's time that the mining industry came with a health warning. Or better yet, some sort of super-corpulent tax, whereby the rate you pay is a careful calibration of girth and wealth. Who knows; with that kind of incentive hanging over him, Mr Palmer might just get the impetus he needs to say no that third serving of bison and fries.
Mining. It's bad for you.
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