Lateralist Coaching

Whilst I don't want to make a habit of talking about Michael Clarke on this site, I couldn't help but smile as I watched him graciously receive some unexpected coaching tips from a teenager who'd invited himself to one of Clarke's press conference.

Clarke handled the situation very well; he smiled, listened, and promised to try out the young man's tip in the nets. If it had been Ponting, there would have been tears. (Alan Border simply would have shot him.) But it now simply remains to be seen whether or not he actually takes the advice out into the middle. The way I see it, his batting is currently about as interesting as his haircut. In fact, I see so reason at all not to immediately replace incumbent coach, Tim Nielsen, with the as-yet unidentified young man.

Actually, why stop there? Why not give him the spot on the selection panel as well? I mean, when you've got a mob whose selections seem about as scientific as nominating a suitcase on Deal Or No Deal, it seems unlikely that he could do a worse job. Right now, nevermind finding the right players, I don't think Andrew Hildtich could find mud in Queensland....

But if that seems too much like hard work, then there is a simple short-cut; just give the kid Clarke's job and be done with it. Given how things have been going for him, I'm not sure he'd be dead set against handing over the reigns, anyway.

For now, I'm going to set myself to lobbying the Australian Cricket Board to get Ricky Gervais to host the Alan Border Medal. Short of getting David Boon and Bob Hawke to compete in a drinking competition, I can't think of anything more likely to entice me to watch.

And incidentally, if they did have a booze-off, even with him being in his 80's, and after more than thirty years on the wagon, my money would still be on Hawke....