Lateralist Reputation

I'm quite a fan of Dame Helen Mirren. At least, I was until I saw her trying to flog Wii Fit merchandise. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

It's not that Mirren is unqualified to do so; she's sixty-five years old, and certainly entitled to try and sell whatever she likes. It just that I now find I can't take her seriously anymore, which is depressing, given that she's one of the premier actresses of her generation.

For a start, she professes to find her pixilated trainer, "Steve" sexy. This is disturbing, given that "Steve" resembles a blurred lego figure, but without the facial detail. So, she's either participating in a very shabby snow job, or the poor woman's vision is going. I know she has a reputation as a sensuous and sultry woman, but I'm not sure that this reputation need be extended to the point of distortion whereby viewers are compelled to see to her portraying herself as being turned on by a animated crash test dummy. It just seems weird to me.

It's also weird, and a little embarrassing to watch an four-time Oscar-nominated actress gyrate slowly (and awkwardly) within an invisible hula-hoop, and then to state with measured (read limited) enthusiasm that her Wii Fit age is now 37. Her Wii Fit I.Q., perhaps, but her age? Please. She seems positively dementia-ridden, which is terrible, because I know she's not. A promotion designed to promote youth has aged this vital and virile woman by at least three decades. It's just appalling to watch.

There are times when celebrities or folk of a certain ilk lend a mundane or even dubious product an air of credibility. And unfortunately, there are times when good celebs are brought down by the very product they are trying to sell. This is one of those times.

I sure hope they paid her a lot of money, because she looks like a bloody goose. I just wish Wii had gotten hold Betty White to sell their crap; at least she's nearly ninety. Or the legendary octogenarian, Clint Eastwood, perhaps. I'm not saying he'd not look foolish; he would, but at least in his case I'd be too scared to say anything. And when Clint tells you to buy something, you buy it. (Clint's the guy you use to sell tampons to men.)

Advertisements are funny things. Dame Helen, please find something else to sell, while your reputation still allows. Wii Fit or not, Dame Judi Dench, who's eleven years your senior, looks like she could beat the shit out of you. And if you keep demeaning yourself like this, for the good of actresses and Dames everywhere, she might very well have to....