It seems that some prominent Australians (and when I say prominent in this context, I mean neglected and/or forgotten) are lobbying for a new flag for our great nation. I've longed for this particular debate to return to prominence, as I've got some thoughts.
I've long thought a sheet of corrugated iron would make for a marvellous flag. For a start, it is wind-defiant, rather than being meekly wind-dependent, and thus always flies proudly. Secondly, it's added weight will make it harder for bogans to fly them from their car aerials. And thirdly, its metallic and rusted qualities will hopefully mean that boat-shoo(t)ing rednecks who feel the need to wear it on Australia Day may have a very real chance of contracting the tetanus they so richly deserve.
That's going to be hard to top, but there are some other options worth mentioning. I've always been partial to the idea of a beach-ball as our flag. Why? Well, I've always been a bit jealous of countries who have shunned the rectangular norm and embraced more interesting shapes for their flag. (Nepal's flag is a wonder to behold.) But rather than simply find an innovative shape, why not add a whole new dimension? We'd be the envy of all nations when, during Olympic medal ceremonies the flat bedsheets of lesser nations limply dangle down, whilst our ballsy sphere smugly glints in the light from every direction. Also, we're a beach-going nation, so a beach-ball works for me. And it makes the flag useful on Australia day, in that you can waive the thing patriotically, then kick it around, also patriotically.
If that's too radical for you, then I guess this next idea's probably not for you, either. We keep the shape, but we rent it out to the highest bidder. After all, we're a practical and pragmatic nation, are we not? And if we can't find a symbol we all like, then why not make a little money? Given the recent talk about the need for flood-relief revenue, give some thought to how much a McFlag sponsorship deal would bring in. And you know, I'm not displeased at the notion that empty nationalism might lose some of its bite if we as a nation have to display our ideals through our actions, rather than through the waiving of empty symbols. After all, I've always liked to believe that those who most love our country do so because of what it stands for, rather than the items which we use to represent those those things for which we stand.
I don't dislike out flag; but I do think it's time we had one that represents all Australians in a way that speaks to an equitable future, rather than our all too inequitable past. And if that's too much for you, then I've one last idea. Let's bung a koala on a stick, and combine flag and emblem into one. Heck, make it a kookaburra, and we can get the anthem out of the way as well....
You've got to be prepared to make sacrifices these days. I'm prepared to cut the British. Because I care.
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